Oaktree Counseling - Blog

How To Not Get Divorced

Sat, 17 Oct 2015 16:26:19 GMT

50+ ideas for using Inside Out in Counseling for Emotional Intelligence

Wed, 26 Aug 2015 12:07:39 GMT

Photo Courtesy of Okay Yamanoglu via flickr

Inside Out, Pixar's newest movie, is a therapist's dream movie. If you work with children, have children, know a child, or know anyone that has a child... stop here and go see this movie!

As a therapist in Virginia Beach, I often work with children with Autism and ADHD. I work with kids who are struggling to fit in, to cope with anxiety, frustration and change. This movie is the perfect platform to engage kids on an emotional level and to grow their emotional intelligence. (By the way, how awesome is that Lego Ideas Project of Inside Out Headquarters?!)

Helping kids identify their emotions

This kindergarten teacher staged "disagreements" between herself and an aid to model how to identify emotions in yourself and others, how to address and resolve conflict. She noticed a huge difference in the way her students related to one another, especially students who were previously aggressive.

Inside Out Headquarters posted this lovely piece of fan art on their tumblr site. It's a great visual for how strongly your child feels an emotion.

You could easily use this chart to help identify emotions. Or have the child tell stories about themselves at each level of the emotion.

This mom created a printable sorting game to help kids learn to identify emotions based on how they are feeling in a given moment. For example, Sadness can feel like Unhappy, Crying, or Hurt.

Talking to kids about their emotions

This foster mom wrote about how she used these Inside Out Plush toys as puppets to engage her foster kids on the topic. I think this would be a great activity for younger kids to talk about how they and other feel.

Here are several questions you could use as discussion starters with kids who are a little older, maybe 5 or 6 and up. You could always modify the questions for kids who are a little younger.

In case you haven't seen it, here is a review of the movie and some thoughts on how to discuss different aspects of the movie with your kids. Beware there are spoilers in this one.

Dealing with Hard situations & Complicated Feelings

Riley experiences some big changes and disappointments in the movie. This post offers some great strategies to help your child talk about the more intense feelings that come along big life changes (e.g. moving, divorce, new school, etc.)

This next one is probably my favorite of the whole Inside Out Movie Round Up. This chart (who doesn't love charts?) is fantastic. One of the biggest lessons in the whole movie is that as you mature emotions become more complicated... they aren't simply happy or sad or angry memories. This chart details what happens when two emotions combine. And... it's simply brilliant.

On Grief and Loss

Eleanor, blogger at What's Your Grief, pointed out that themes portrayed in the movie are very applicable to anyone experiencing grief or loss, especially children.

It can be tough to learn that the happy things we remember about someone we lost, can also make us sad.

20+ Video Clips (Yes, Please.)

I would like to formally thank The Helpful Counselor for doing all the work for me and curating a ton of teachable moments about feelings. Thank you, thank you very much. This is enough content for a video on just about any topic that comes up in play therapy and counseling. (I'm a happy counselor. Very happy.)

Teaching Social Emotional Intelligence

The Gottman Institute published an excellent article on extending the ideas and themes in the movie to teach social and emotional intelligence skills to kids. These ideas go beyond the movie, such as learning about the brain and connecting that to things they saw in the movie.

This mom of twins on the Autism Spectrum gives her thoughts on how the movie relates to the particular challenges of those with Autism and their families.

What I love most about this movie for kids on the Spectrum, is that it gives a concrete visual reference for feelings and it offers a language, complete with gestures, words, and references for discussing emotions!

Need More?

I've started a pinterest board just for Inside Out Therapy related activities! :) You can check that out by clicking on the pinboard picture below. Follow the rest of my boards here.

Special Thanks to Okay Yamanoglu for giving me permission to use his awesome Lego Project photo at the top. For more information on thisLego Ideas Project for Inside Out Headquarters make sure to check this out.

Nikki Schwartz is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Oaktree Counseling and focuses on using neurofeedback, play, and talk therapies to provide practical, effective counseling to families and clients.

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When mom has ADHD, too, things get... complicated

Sensory Gym Grand Opening Virginia Beach!

Tue, 11 Aug 2015 16:00:04 GMT

A couple of weeks ago I got a behind-the-scenes look the SensoryAbled Kids Gym, a new Sensory Gym opening in Virginia Beach this weekend!! Mompreneur, Tashia Smith, has been hard at work organizing and planning the opening and it's all set to roll out on Saturday, August 15th at 10:00 am.

Disclosure: I have no affliation with SensoryAbled Kids or the owner or the manufacturers of the products featured here. Though I plan at some point soon to start a Parent-led Social Skills Play Therapy Group that will meet at the gym. More on that soon.

Grand Opening on Saturday!

The opening starts at 10:00 am this Saturday and Tashia plans to be open for open play Wednesday through Sunday each week from 10:00 am until 6:00 pm. There will be door prizes and giveaways. Oaktree Counseling plans on donating a few sensory items as door prizes as well. There is also a giveaway to a special Invitation Only Sneak Peek on Friday night, before the grand opening (details at the end of the post).

Why Do We Need A Sensory Gym?

I asked Tashia what inspired her to open a sensory gym in Virginia Beach. Tashia was looking for something in our area that would help her son with motor skills and socializing. Something more like fun and less like therapy. She came across a gym started by a group of autism mommies in Massachusetts.

I think a family-owned business is a good model for my children and allows me to be more active in their lives.
-Tashia Smith,
owner of SensoryAbled Kids

But, at the time, there was nothing like it anywhere in Hampton Roads. She spent the last year researching, thinking, seeking out funding and then jumped in head first and quit her job.

Tashia said, "I wanted to fill this need for my son and also the community at large. Plus, I think a family owned business is a good model for my children and allows me to be more active in their life vs working for someone else."

New Photos of SensoryAbled Kids Sensory Gym!

Be sure to check out the giveaway being hosted by My Active Child for three FREE family passes (up to 3 people from the same household) to the Sneak Peek on Friday Night!

See You Saturday!

For more details, including pricing, on the sensory gym check out my last post.

P.S. Tashia and I aren't the only ones who see the need for more sensory play experiences for our kiddos. I also encourage you check out the open play hours at Brick Headz, another great resource in our area with sensory play equipment, ages 1 to 12. As well as Cloud9, an amazing trampoline park. And Green Bean, a new indoor play center, children 6 and under.

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How fidgeting really does help them focus

Adult ADHD: Am I Just Lazy? Um, No.

Wed, 05 Aug 2015 05:01:31 GMT

Unfortunately the idea that people with ADHD are lazy is pretty common. But, actually, we are usually remarkably productive... just not always in the areas that we need to be.

I wish I could say that last week's post, I'm a Slacker!, was posted intentionally to make a point. Nope. Actually, I was trying to motivate myself with a deadline. (Here is the post's entire content: "If this post went live, it means I either died or I'm a slacker. This. Is. Embarassing."

So, what can you do to help yourself? Read on, my friend, you are not lazy, stupid, or crazy. I promise.

Why Can't I Get Things Done On Time?

Dr. William Dodson, MD, has described the problem in a way that makes more sense to me than anything I've else ever read. Here is a short summary. (Check out this link on the ADHD Brain for article.)

First, neurotypical people (those without ADHD) make decisions based on three factors: Importance, Rewards, and Consequences. (e.g. I think it's important. Someone I [love, like, fear or respect] thinks it's important. Or, there are consequences and rewards involved.)

People with ADHD, rarely, if ever, make decisions based on these things. Dodson says (and I agree wholeheartedly), that people with ADHD make decisions based on different criteria: Interest, Challenge, Novelty, Urgency (ICNU).

If it isn't any of these ICNU things, we don't do it. Period. (At least not without much pushing and nagging from others... which then makes it urgent, because we want you to stop poking us!)

Why Rewards and Consequence Don't work

Rewards only work when they are interesting, novel, challenging or very urgent.

Rewards and consequences might seem to work, but only when they engage one of the ICNU factors. If a reward is something the person is very interested in or if it is a new reward, it might help the task get done.

Consequences are trickier. Consequences usually need to be so urgent they cannot be ignored. Procrastination creates a crisis, which creates urgency and then finally, you can write that final paper that you've been trying to do for weeks.

Stop Trying to Make Yourself Neurotypical

The harder I try to make myself get things done like other people, the more frustrated and unmotivated I become. Take exercise for instance. I hate (as in loathe and despise) the gym. So, deciding to exercise at the gym would (and has been) an exercise in futility.

But, some form of non-exercise has always been a great way for me to stay fit. I like physical activity that doesn't feel like "exercise". Making it novel makes it motivating and fun. Here is a post I wrote on how to not hate exercise if you have ADHD.

How To Start?

Dodson suggests making a list of things that already work, he calls it "writing your own Owner's Manual". Several times a day, people with ADHD are focused and very productive. What circumstances make that happen? Dodson says finding out what helps you "get in the zone" is the first step.

Dodson encourages you to focus on strategies that work now, not things that worked when you were younger. Since novelty always wears off, your list will change over time.

When you are able to get in the zone look for ways that the activity got your attention and motivation. It will nearly always fall under one of the ICNU criteria.

Off to Focus

I have known intuitively what Dr. Dodson wrote about for many years, but had never seen it put quite so plainly. I think that harnessing our natural ability to be productive is key to succeeding in a non-ADHD world.

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I'm a Slacker

Thu, 30 Jul 2015 12:01:01 GMT

If this post went live it means I either died or I'm slacker....

This. Is. Embarassing.

Virginia Beach is getting a Sensory Gym!

Thu, 23 Jul 2015 21:26:33 GMT

Hampton Roads is finally getting a Sensory Gym! Mompreneur, Tashia Smith, plans on opening the SensoryAbled Kids in Virginia Beach on Holland Road, August 12th, if all goes according to plan.

Her rates are totally reasonable and... AND... she's offering a discount for any additional siblings who tag along! (keep reading for more details).

(Can you tell I'm excited?! I have nothing to disclose, I am not affliated with the gym or any of the websites or manufacturers mentioned here. Neither Tashia nor SensoryAbled Kids is compensating me for this post in any way.)

"What is a Sensory Gym?" you ask

I had never heard of a Sensory Gym until I saw this Facebook photo post by Diary of a Mom. Diary of a Mom is written by the mother of two daughters, one with autism and one who is more neurotypical. Brooke's favorite place to go is the SenseAbility Gym near there home in Massachusetts.

A Sensory Gym is a play area geared toward promoting engaging all of a child's (or adults) senses. These include not only our senses of sight, smell, sound and touch, but also our sense of balance (vestibular or equilibrioception), our sense of where our body parts are in relation to each other (proprioception), as well as our ability to sense pressure, among others.

On the right is a photo of a mesmerizing visual sensory experience called a bubble tube, similar to this one. The one featured at the SensoryAbled Kids gym will not only light up as the bubbles float and swirl, but will also vibrate a padded seat surrounding it. (Yes, please.)

Sensory experiences are important to any child's growth and development, but some individuals, especially those with sensory processing difficulties, need more sensory "input" to help their nervous system learn to organize itself. If you're curious here is a post with more information on Sensory Processing Disorder.

Why Does Virginia BEach need a Sensory Gym?

Photo Courtesy of FunandFunction.com

As far as Tashia and I can tell, there is not another dedicated sensory gym in the state of Virginia! (Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong in the comments. I'd love to hear of another!)

The need for a dedicated parent-led sensory gym is immense. While there are great activities for those with special needs in Hampton Roads, this is one thing we are missing.

What's in a Sensory Gym?

Or more specifically, what's going to be in the SensoryAbled Kids gym? (links included to similar products)

a large piece of action equipment for swinging, climbing, monkey ropes, with a rock climbing and net climbing walls (similar to the one in the photo above, each piece is custom built by Fun and Function.)
Sensory Swings
Crash Pads and Bean Bags
vibrating, LED lit, calming Bubble Tube
Weighted Lap Pads
Touchable Fiber Optic Lights
Break Boxes
Ball Pit
Open-Ended Building Kits, like Interlox and LegoÂ® Bricks
Giant Chalkboard Wall, because who doesn't like coloring on the walls (and not getting in trouble)?!
Calming room for those who need it (that's where the Bubble Tube is going to be set up)

Tashia plans on offering parties, special rates to groups, and less crowded play slots for those who need the sensory engagement without a lot of people around.

I about fell over when Tashia said she is only charging $12 for a Day Pass! Here's a breakdown of the fees, which are obviously subject to change:

So, What's This Going to Cost?

	First Child	Each Additional Sibling
1 hour	$8	$4
1.5 hours	$10	$5
Day Pass	$12	$6
Monthly Pass	$35	+1 $55 +2 $65

But What about Adults with Special Needs?

Wait, you mean children with special needs grow up?? Indeed. And with that in mind, Tashia is expecting to accommodate adults with special needs who could benefit from the multisensory activities in the gym.

Make sure you check out Tashia's Facebook page for SensoryAbled Kids and their website for updates on the Grand Opening, rates, and events!

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Adult ADHD: How To Not Hate Exercise

Wed, 15 Jul 2015 12:01:01 GMT

Consider what kind of things are just fun to you. Things you don't have to spend an hour talking yourself into.

What did you like doing as a kid or a teenager? Did you love the swings? Or riding bikes? Or jumping on the trampoline for hours? Use those things as your starting point. CONTINUE READING FOR MORE IDEAS

Tennis, Ping Pong, and RAquetBall

Tennis and Racquetball are sort of standard fare for competitive sports that keep you pretty active. Here in Virginia Beach, most of our Rec Centers have great Racquetball courts with tournaments scheduled regularly. The other nice thing is that both of racquet sports are relatively inexpensive to get involved in. An inexpensive racquet will run you around $30 and a container of balls is about $5. (It is also wise to buy a pair of goggles, about $10, for raquetball to avoid a brutal eye injury).

Ping Pong is a surprisingly aerobic game, check out this table tennis match from the 2012 London Olympics, if you don't believe me. This requires a bit more equipment obviously, but you've probably got a friend with a table.

Speedminton®

Photo courtesy of speedmintonusa.com

Speedminton® is a relatively new sport, invented a couple of years ago in Berlin. Speedminton requires no net and it's birdie, called a Speeder®, spins through the air making play much faster. The advantage of Speedminton® over Badminton is the portability of play: there is no net. 0_0.

I was given a Speedminton ® Fun Set, about $30 on Amazon, for my birthday recently and it is super fun, at least after it cools down at night. Oh, did I mention, you can play at night?! Yup, the have a special glow stick that lights the birdie up for nighttime play! (This might be a better option for your insomnia than video games! ;)

Bikes & rollerblades

In the 1990's, rollerblading was seriously popular. It's still a fun activity, provided you can find a smooth flat surface. Both rollerblades and bicycles will set you back a little more, but you can also find them second hand pretty easily. One of my favorite places around here to bike is First Landing State Park. The trails are long and well maintained. During the off-season, I used to rollerblade on the boardwalk at the Oceanfront.

Casterboards & Skateboards

Photo Credit: puuikibeach via flickr

RipStik®, a two-wheeled skateboard on casters, became popular while I was in grad school. So, I spent A LOT of time zooming around our parking lots on one of these perpetual motion boards.

It was surprising to me that it wasn't that hard to learn to ride. Make sure to wear a helmet, knee, elbow, and wrist guards. This activity is a bit more expensive, a new board is around $90.

Take A Dance Class

Trikke™ Carving Vehicles

TRampolines

Photo Courtesy of trikke.com

The Trikke™ is my favorite non-exercise to date (pronounced
tr-EYE-k). Th perpetual motion three-wheeled scooter is a blast. Once I learned to ride, I was taking it with me everywhere (it folds in half and fits in the trunk). You make it "go" by swiveling both feet back and forth at the same time you twist the handlebar.

It does take some time to get it right, but it was totally worth it. I usually ride my Trikke™ at Mt. Trashmore on the path around the pond. I've heard that the Dismal Swamp Canal Trail in Chesapeake is a great flat concrete trail and perfect for trikking.

Swing, Ballroom, and Latin dance classes will make you forget that awful word (the gym) as you learn new steps. Dancing helps build confidence, coordination, and poise. Lots of good reasons that have nothing to do with exercise. A Time To Dance hosts dance parties each weekend with beginner classes to start the night off.

Photo Courtesy of Suzi Toth-Noyes

Anyone else pine for a trampoline while growing up?? Well... if you've got the backyard now, go for it... but if you're still apartment-bound, trampoline parks are popping up everywhere. In Hampton Roads, Cloud9 in Chesapeake and Rebounderz in Newport News are your new favorite hang outs. Who needs a gym? (Gym should be a forbidden four-letter word).

Cloud9 has a staggering list of activities: CloudFit, BoardBounce (like a snowboard for a trampoline?!), Trampoline Dodgeball, and the list continues. (This place is the BEST!)

Zumba® and Pure Barre®

Zumba® has become really popular in the past few years. Our area has classes every day of the week all day long somewhere! At gyms, dance studios, churches, rec centers, you name it, there's one somewhere around here. The Latin style exerdance is a super fun way to get the needed cardio without ever uttering the word "exercise"

Pure Barre® now has two studios locally, in Virginia Beach and Chesapeake, and offers a variety of classes that should make anyone comfortable. Classes are similar to ballet exercises done at a barre.

ExerGaming for ADHD

Xbox Kinect and Nintendo Wii U™ have made exergaming a mainstream reality. The Wii U has more available titles, but you are tied to controllers, which can limit your movement somewhat. The Kinect uses a camera to track movements and feels more natural, but again titles are a little limited. (We recently bought a Kinect and have been having tons of fun with Dance Central and Fruit Ninja). I think this is a great option if you are stuck indoors during the winter or with young children.

Rock Climbing, Rafting, Parkour

Photo Courtesy of Mike Baker

These are for the adrenaline junky. Whitewater rafting is an exhilarating sport, though I don't think I'm really doing much exercise in this video as a Guide-In-Training (I'm in the front in the right of the photo.) If you're interested in going, trips run from March until October each year in West Virginia at North American River Runners, where I spent every Spring, Summer, and Fall in college on the New and Gauley Rivers.

Rock Climbing is a great upper body workout and doubles as a problem-solving exercise, mindfulness training, a fear-conquering opportunity. Rock Gym in Virginia Beach is a local favorite.

Ever Heard of Parkour?

Photo Credit: agenciaandes_ec via flickr

Yeah, me either, until recently while researching non-exercise.

Parkour is like Zombie Preparedness Survival Training. What is the most efficient effective way to get away from the zombie chasing you? Whatever that is in the moment, that is Parkour.

Nerd Fitness has an excellent Beginner's Guide to Parkour, just don't go around yelling "Parkour!" all the time.

And Speaking of The guys At Nerd Fitness...

They are running a camp... a nerd camp... for adults. What?! But, much to my disappointment, it's already booked for this year! Here are some things they featured at last year's camp... "Kung Fu, Parkour, Tricking, Yoga, Meditation, how to squat and deadlift properly, bodyweight exercises, how to cook easy meals, how to deal with depression, how to have a healthy relationship with food, how to bend nails, do things like handstands and cartwheels...!"

How To Not Hate the gym

Wellllll... this takes special effort. If you insist on mundane forms of fitness that we call "exercise" (I hear everyone groan, but you, because as I mentioned the gym is a four-letter word :-/ .)

Here are my suggestions...

Audiobooks, Netflix, Music

If you are trying to "like" running, walking, etc. Try listening to an audiobook on your smartphone. Virginia Beach and Chesapeake both offer a large (FREE) selection of audiobooks that can be downloaded via Overdrive.

Any audiobook you can't find for free at the library, you can probably find on Audible.

Take your smartphone to the [four-letter word for fitness place] and connect to wifi, proceed to binge watch your favorite Netflix episodes.

Audiobooks and Netflix are particularly motivating if you ONLY listen to them while you are at said four-letter word place of exercise. When you get to that final episode of the season, you'll be running to the [four-letter-word-I-refuse-to-write-again] at least once a day!

Music is self-explanatory... but what if you like swimming. Ahh... no bueno. But wait.... what about waterproof bluetooth headphones?! Indeed. You can now swim AND listen to your favorite music.

So, how are you going to sneak up on exercise? Let me know in the comments.

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ADHD Tips For Parents: 6 Great Books to Read

Wed, 01 Jul 2015 12:01:01 GMT

Photo Credit: amenclinicphotos ac via flickr

As a parent with a child with ADHD, does it ever feel like it's you against six storm troopers? Those are tough odds. Here are five books to help you be a better parent to a child, who, while having great potential, also can't find his socks right now... that are on his feet. (Face palm.)

DISCLAIMER: First, just so we're clear, you're already a great parent, just by reading books like these. It isn't necessarily the books, but that you are the type of parent who clicks on a post like this and reads books like these, that makes the difference. Second, nothing to disclose, no affiliation with any of the authors or Amazon. No affiliate links.

Photo Credit: pasakuru via flickr

And this is a picture, for visual effect, of you against six storm troopers... yeah, not pretty. So, onto the amazing parent that you are, who reads all the books. (If you're missing the reference, go back and read the disclaimer.) CONTINUE READING

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel Amen

In Change Your Brain, Change Your Life Dr. Amen proposes a different perspective on ADHD, specifically that there are not three types of attention deficit, but seven types. These mainly take into account different types of anxiety, depression, anger, obsessiveness, related areas of the brain, and how all of that impacts ADHD. His book explains the mystery of why a stimulant calms a child with ADHD, instead of winding them up.

The Whole Brain Child by Drs. Siegel and Bryson

Fidget to Focus is a fantastic book for helping your child find ways to activate his brain, that don't include terrorizing the family dog or his older sister. Nope, these ideas will help him focus and stay on task. I like this book so much, that I wrote an entire blog post series on fidgets offering ideas and suggestions based on the fidget strategies in this book.

Fidget to Focus by Dr. Rotz and Sarah Wright

The Whole Brain Child explains how the brain matures to help us think clearly, stay on task, process emotions, control behavior, etc. All things that your child with ADHD might struggle with at home, at school, and with friends. The authors give practical solutions that take brain development into account to help you address behavior problems in a proactive, positive way.

Taking Charge of ADHD by Dr. Russell Barkley

Dr. Barkley is largely considered the leading expert in ADHD research and theory. This book is great for parents who like to read up and want to be informed. It is extremely thorough and offers helpful tips and ideas for how to help your child succeed. It is a little long, but if you're looking for something that answers most of your questions, this is it.

10 Simple solutions to Adult ADD by Dr. Stephanie Sarkis

10 Simple Solutions is the perfect book for the parent who has ADHD and is parenting a child with ADHD. The book is short, sweet and to the point. Thank Goodness Stephanie wrote this, if you have ADHD, it may be the first book you ever finish. Each chapter is only a few pages long, packed with long and short-term solutions. Most of the ideas are applicable to both teens and adults.

I would love to hear your thoughts on these, and any other ADHD resources you've found helpful, in the comments section. So, go. Now. Comment away. Unless of course, you don't want to comment... Well, then don't. It's cool. There's more awesome stuff to read about ADHD. ;)

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Adult Autism: Encourage Communication

Fri, 26 Jun 2015 19:19:43 GMT

Photo credit: juanedc via flickr

There are so many books and resources geared toward children on the Autism Spectrum, but *gasp*, guess what? They grow up. I know, I know, that sounds incredible, but it's true. A child with autism will one day be a 40 year old with autism. I want to provide ideas that address this gap in resources.

My last post discussed the principles I use in my office to encourage language and communication with children on the Autism Spectrum. These same ideas can be adapted for young adults on the Spectrum, as well as older individuals with Autism who might have difficulty with conversation, language and social interaction.

DISCLAIMER: I am not affliated with the authors or websites mentioned here and have received no form of compensation to mention them.

Where to Start

Here is a review of the basic principles, I use in my office, based on Play To Talk by Dr. James MacDonald and Dr. Pam Stoika, and Greenspan's Floortime and DIR therapy.

Be balanced. Take turns and remember any safe behavior counts.
Be matched. Behave in ways your child can copy.
Be responsive. Respond to both verbal and nonverbal behavior.
Share control. Make sure you both get a chance to choose the topic/activity.
Be playful and affirming. Keep the interaction relaxed, fun, and enjoyable.

These 5 strategies are taken directly from Play To Talk (MacDonald & Stoika, 2007). My last post reviews these strategies more thoroughly.

Adapting Floortime® Strategies for Adults

If music is of particular interest, try listening to favorite songs or pieces and drumming along. You can get a small drum pad for around $25 and practice keeping rhythm with drumsticks or tapping with your fingers.
You can also try humming tunes that he or she seems to enjoy.
Xylophones and small pianos, even if they are toys, can be a fun way to explore music and sounds.
Try making music with water in various glasses.
YouTube is a common interest; however, it is easy for this to be distracting from interaction, instead of encouraging it. So, use this idea with caution. Sometimes exploring videos of a special interest can be useful, try extending into some other activity. For example, watch videos about animals and then use animal figures to act out the video.
See if you can help them create a video of their own for YouTube.
Try looking at magazines that relate to his or her special interest. This can be a good activity for older individuals, as magazines are less likely to seem childish.
Reading books together that interest them, but focus on pictures in the book and pointing out things that are happening or things you see, instead of quizzing, asking questions or just "reading to" them.
For books try encyclopedias or National Geographic. One client of mine really liked field guides. National Geographic also has several publications geared at younger ages, so the reading is easier, but not so childish as a picture book might seem to young adult.
Coffee table books are another great way to engage an adult. One of the favorite books in my waiting room is a Lego book, like this one.
If your adult likes super hero movies or comics, Graphic Novels can be a great way to encourage reading, since they are not straight text. You can also find figurines of their favorite characters and act out the stories together.
Audiobooks can be a great way to "read" together. You can later narrate parts of the story, and wait for a response. This won't work for everyone, since many on the Spectrum become overwhelmed with too much auditory stimulation, but it is worth consideration.
Fidgets, brain teaser puzzles and other desktop toys are often a hit in my office. With some of these items you can try taking turns or building something, if that's not possible you can start by handing the pieces back and forth.
Lego® Architecture sets are a little more, um, mature? And can be a great way to build something together. You could extend this by looking up the original building on Google Earth or Google Maps, by watching YouTube Videos about the building, etc.
Try making a funny face and waiting for a reaction. As always, keep the interaction positive. If things become stressful, back off a little and reevaluate.
As I mentioned earlier, sensory strategies are great for adults as well. Try sensory swings (make sure to use swings that are properly installed and built to safely handle the weight of the user in mind). Dr. Tobing-Puente suggests that this can help them regulate and encourage communication.
Soft and fuzzy pillows or blankets can be soothing. Explore other textures and comment on them.
Almost everyone in my office loves Kinetic Sand. Super fun activity that just oozes with opportunity to engage and interact. I've seen it in many stores now, Target, Michael's, JoAnn Fabric, WalMart, under various names.
If they enjoy being touched, try rubbing lotion on their hands and then let them rub lotion on your hands (I have parents do this with the adult in my office or at home). You can also try brushing each other's hair, as long as this is not a stressful or painful activity. (In that case, well, then, don't ;)
My favorite suggestion from Dr. Tobing-Puente is to use Air Hockey! Here's what she said, "I have found air hockey to be great for using Floortime® strategies such as playful obstruction and playing dumb. For example, pausing and waiting for the adult to ask to 'serve' the puck or playing dumb by putting the puck in your pocket can promote novel communication and expand circles of communication."
Try playing board games in ways that fully include everyone. This might mean playing a game with fewer rules (card games, like Uno or War, checkers) or adapting the rules (as in stacking Jenga blocks and knocking it over, instead of building the tower and pulling the blocks out).
She also mentioned playing basketball as a good activity. I like kicking a soccer ball back and forth, shooting hoops on a back-of-the-door hoop, and playing catch to be good ideas.
Try taking walks and pointing out what you see, make sure to wait for a response. This is really fun at the Norfolk Botanical Gardens here in Hampton Roads.
Try misusing an object, Play To Talk mentions a favorite strategy of Dr. Jim's is to ask for the person's shoe, put it on his head and sneeze it off. This will undoubtedly get some kind of reaction!
If the adult is nonverbal, try imitating or mimicking sounds they might make. Eventually you can make a sound and they will mimic it, too! This can be a perfect way to begin the circle of communication.
Try reading a well-loved book and leaving off the end of a line or important word, wait for them to fill it in, or if they are nonverbal, wait for them to prompt you to continue.

So, my next purchase will be a small air hockey table for the office! :) I would love to hear your ideas in the comments. I'm always looking for ways to build better relationships with kids and adults with autism.

Adapting Floortime® Strategies for Adults With Autism

I am often trying to come up with creative ways to adapt these strategies for young adults on the Autism Spectrum, since there are far fewer resources for adults. So, I reached out to Dr. Lauren Tobing-Puente, a licensed psychologist in New York, who also uses Floortime strategies. She had some interesting ideas that I included in the list.

First, start with the person's special interests. Whatever that might be, Lego® bricks, trains, Dr. Who, birds, insects, lining things up, organizing by color, these special interests will provide the easiest way "doorway" into their world. Don't stress over whether or not it is age-appropriate, since your goal is to increase back-and-forth turn-taking and communication. Avoid teaching the "right" way to play, as this tends to make the interaction less fun and lead to less communication.

Dr. Tobing-Puente encourages parents to pay close attention to special interests and what the person finds interesting right now. She also mentioned that if they are initiating verbally, then it is ok to respond verbally. If they seem overstimulated or frustrated, trying toning down, using less speech, and responding more with nonverbal interactions.

She also mentioned that sensory-based activities are just as important for young adults, as they are for children; since, many adults have difficulties with sensory processing.

While, it might seem easier to apply these "play" strategies to younger children, since their interests and toys seem more natural to play with, a little "outside the box" thinking will give you plenty of ideas.

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Sat, 20 Jun 2015 20:47:36 GMT

Photo Credit: Henry Burrows via Flickr

A parent recently told me that her son with autism lives and breathes to play on his iPad and watch YouTube, and that everything else is just "counting the hours". I laughed. A lot.

Maybe you kiddo is obsessed with YouTube or Lego® or lining everything up. So... how do we help your child or young adult talk more, engage more effectively and enjoy relationships? It starts with play.

These strategies work with any age; though, you'll need to adapt them for young adults or older individuals. CONTINUE READING

Play To Talk by James MacDonald & Pam Stoika

Play To Talk: A Practical Guide to Help Your Late-Talking Child Join the Conversation is an excellent resource for helping any child who is late in talking. I'll include a link to the book at the end of the post. The authors focus on teaching parents strategies to encourage back-and-forth interaction, which is the social building block for social skills, relationship, and shared problem solving.

Neurotypical children will usually start engaging in back-and-forth interactions very early, for example, turning their head toward the sound of Mom's voice. Over the next several months these interactions become more complicated and involve more turn-taking. Baby smiles, Mom laughs, Baby laughs, etc. (Greenspan, 2006).

Many children on the Autism Spectrum engaged in fewer of these back-and-forth interactions as infants. My clients' often continue to have difficulty in conversations and play that require many, many back-and-forth interactions (e.g. reading and interpreting facial expressions, body language, social expectations, motor planning, etc.). So, how can you help?

By Taking Turns

What's a "turn"? This doesn't refer to letting someone else have a toy or taking turns with the remote, but taking turns interacting. A "turn" could be a statement, a facial expression, a laugh, making a noise or sound effect, pointing, etc.

5 Strategies from Play To Talk

Be Balanced. Don't take more "turns" than your child. You'll need to wait sometimes for an interaction. Be careful not to rush, since your child is processing all the elements of the interaction. Play To Talk also encourages you to "accept any safe behavior as a 'turn'."
Be Matched. During play, act and talk in the ways your child can imitate. Use around the same number of words in a sentence that your child does. Use your child's interests to draw her out. Play To Talk says to "avoid communicating only in words when your child is nonverbal."
Be Responsive. Respond not only to words that a child uses, but also any preverbal noises or sounds that they make. More preverbal practice will often lead to engagement and more language. However, try not to "respond to undesirable interactions (for example, interrupting, repeating, actions or words excessively, whining)". Often waiting with an expectant look will prompt another, more appropriate behavior.
Share Control. Make sure you both get chances to choose the activity or topic. Make sure to respond to the child's ideas, as well as encouraging them to respond to your own.
Be Playful and Affirming. When you are worried about your child's progress it is easy to get focused on how things "should" be done. The strategies in Play to Talk are all about being funny, relaxed, goofy, and cheerful.

Remember the goal

The goal here is to increase the number of back-and-forth interactions a child can engage in. It is more important to continue the interaction than it is that the play or activity be done "right". You can use these strategies during daily activities, and you should, but let the interaction be more important than the chore.

A Great Resource For Parents

Play To Talk by James MacDonald, Ph.D. and Pam Stoika, Ph.D., is a great resource for parents. It's full of ideas, suggestions, how-to's, lists, pictures, and is written for a variety of learning styles. It's incredibly practical and the principles can be used with any individual who struggles with language and communication. I encourage anyone in my office parenting a special needs child or adult to read this book.

DISCLOSURE: Not much. I have no affiliation with any company, website, or author mentioned here, other than thinking they are awesome. Nor did I receive anything in return for mentioning them.

Engaging Autism by Stanley Greenspan, M.D. and Serena Wieder, Ph.D. is another book I often recommend, that I cited earlier. It's a little more like a textbook and a heavier read, but it provides a solid theoretical approach for a very similar model and the two approaches are very compatible.

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