ADHD Tips for Parents: Mom has ADHD, too

by Nikki Schwartz

As a mom with ADHD, married to a man with ADHD, raising a kiddo with ADHD... Life gets complicated sometimes.  Trying to keep up with all of life's to do's can be really hard. (If you need more proof, read this awesome blog post on Domestic Enemies of the ADHD Mom.)  Here are some things that can help life be less stressful for everyone.
CONTINUE READING

Disclosure: I have no affiliation with Target or Amazon and receive no compensation, kickback, free product or services from mentioning or linking to their products.

First, let me explain

People with ADHD (whether your 7 or 37) really dislike doing boring tasks... and unlike the rest of the world, we cannot "just do it".  Asking us to "do it anyways" is like asking us to pull out our teeth one at a time (agonizing and definitely to be avoided at all costs).

So, if something must be boring, it needs to be on an autopilot system.

set up systems

So, for any task that seems particularly boring and one that must be done, try to establish a system to get it done.

For example, in our house we each have a laundry sorter with three bags, like this one from Target or this one from Amazon.  Clothes are sorted as we take them off at the end of the day, instead of needing to sort them to do laundry.  Then laundry is done as it fills up.

Another example from our laundry routine, each kiddo has a netted lingerie bag for socks.  Have I mentioned I seriously dislike sorting socks?  This makes it so much easier.  No mysterious disappearance of the socks being eaten by the dryer monster.  All sock pairs are accounted for and present. :)

systems meet routines

You probably already know that kids with ADHD do much better when there are routines and structure to guide them.  But it's really hard to provide that structure, if you're a parent with ADHD who struggles with this already.

So, it usually works best to focus on creating structure for yourself first.  How do you do this when life is already so crazy and you're always running late, forgetting things, appointments, lunches.......  Well...

Establishing Habits when you're a mom with adhd

Start small.  Pick one habit to put in place that will help things run more smoothly.  This can be making the bed right after you get up in the morning or getting up 15 minutes before your kiddos in the morning.  Or setting out your own clothes before you go to bed.  More on conquering distraction and establishing habits.

Are you starting to see a theme?  I suggest you do the EXACT SAME THINGS for yourself, that I encourage you to do to help your kids stay focused and on task.  Once  you've established one habit (which takes about 30 days), move onto another one.

learn strategies to help yourself focus

Most moms put their kids first, seeking help for them before themselves.  One of the best things you can do, is know when to seek out help for yourself.  Sometimes this is simply making sure you are resting enough, other times it means finding someone to talk to about these issues.  Making sure you're taking good care of yourself will help you be a better parent in the long run.

Take Care of Yourself

Depending on what exactly helps you focus, sometimes you need to do more (and sometimes less).  Sometimes adding something a situation will help you stay attentive.  Like listening to music while getting ready.  Taking out distracting activities helps, such as not texting, checking email or watching the news in the morning.

What works for you?

In the comments, let me know what helps you manage adult ADHD, while raising kids with ADHD.  Let me know if this has helped you as a parent with ADHD, and what other topics would be helpful.

---

Nikki Schwartz is a Licensed Professional Counselor at Oaktree Counseling and focuses on using neurofeedback, play, and talk therapies to provide practical, effective counseling to families and clients.

---

You Might Also Like:

10 Self-Care Tips for Parents

12 Suggestions for Adult ADHD