I was excited to get a phone call from Caitlin Hylinski from Cinema Cafe yesterday. Based on the response on Facebook and comments on our blog post about Sensory Friendly Movies, Cinema Cafe has decided to run two Sensory Friendly Shows of Wreck-It Ralph, on Tuesday, November 13th at 6:30 pm at the Kemps River and Hampton locations. CONTINUE READING
We just put up a new pinboard on Pinterest for things to do in Virginia Beach with kids on the Spectrum. We have several locals contributing ideas for activities, resources, and anything else that would be helpful to the autism community. There are lots of great things to do in Virginia Beach. We wanted to have a central location for all these ideas. If you'd like to pin to this board, let us know in the comments. Here are a few of the ideas we featured for Autism Virginia Beach on Pinterest... CONTINUE READING 5. That's not my puppy... by Fiona Watts & Rachael Wells This sensory-friendly book is part of the Usborne touchy-feely "That's not my..." series. Toddlers, infants, and kiddos on the spectrum will all enjoy the sensory experience of this book. It's also a great way to introduce the concepts of distinguishing things within a category, such as different parts of a thing and different types of the same thing. CONTINUE READING There is a lot of research that indicates meditation can be very helpful for self-regulation, calming the brain and mind, increasing the ability focus, among a myriad of other benefits. But how many parents out there can imagine teaching a (neurotypical) child to meditate? How about a child with ADHD, Autism, or Asperger's? CONTINUE READING by Nikki Schwartz Neurofeedback can be very helpful for a variety of of people. If you get a chance, check out What is Neurofeedback? Neurofeedback or neurotherapy works by helping the client to self-regulate. So that they are able to wake-up easier, go to sleep easier, focus better, and manage their emotional state more easily. CONTINUE READING Has your toddler or older child ever clicked themselves out of the app they were playing? Or worse, clicked out and started an app you didn't want them to play with? Our favorite new function in iOS 6 is the ability to shut off that home button and shut off certain parts of the screen. This helps our clients and our own kids stay more focused, as well as lowering the child's frustration when they accidentally close an app. CONTINUE READING
This afternoon I had a chat with Caitlin Hylinski, the Event Coordinator at Cinema Cafe Kemps River in Virginia Beach, about the idea of starting a monthly sensory-friendly showing. She told me they had thought about it, but was not sure there was enough interest. I told her I thought there probably was, considering that nearly every seat is sold out at the other sensory friendly showing in town each month.
Usually a sensory friendly movie showing will involve skipping the movie previews, leaving the lights on, and turning the sound down quite a bit. Families who attend know what the deal is and are comfortable with behaviors of individuals with autism. What Cinema Cafe needs to hear now is how excited the Virginia Beach Autism community is about the idea of a second monthly sensory friendly movie showing. Let us know in the comments if you'd be interested. Comment on the Cinema Cafe Facebook Page. Email or call Cinema Cafe at events@cinemacafe.com or 757.747.1396. Would you be more likely to attend a showing at Kemps River, Pembroke or Greenbrier?
I was excited this week to notice that there is now a gluten free section at our local mega store (you know the one). We have many clients who are on GFCF (Gluten Free, Casein Free) diets and who are forced to shop at specialty grocery stores for these types of food items. I am glad to see that chains are starting to provide more options. Prices seemed reasonable, especially compared to those I've seen at specialty type stores. They carried a variety of different products, all gluten free, including pasta, cereal, and snacks. I wasn't able to check every product, but it looked like several were both gluten and casein free. Comment and let us know what you think of chain stores carrying these types of items. Have you noticed a section like this in one of your stores?
When do I possibly have time for a nap? It's about how to find the time. I often discuss the importance of self-care with parents of clients on the Spectrum. Self-care is incredibly important in any situation that is demanding, stressful, and time-consuming. Research conducted in 2009 at University of Wisconsin-Madison indicates that mother's of children with autism have stress levels comparable to combat veterans.
How individuals families go about managing time for self-care will depend on their circumstances. We don't expect all of these suggestions to work all of the time, for everyone in every situation, but hopefully they can help you brainstorm creative ways to take good care of yourself, so that you can continue taking good care of others. Please comment and let us know what has worked for you and your family. 1. Be willing to accept help It can be difficult to accept help, when it is offered and even more difficult to ask for help. Oftentimes people around us don't even know that we need or want their help. Sometimes this means delegating within your family, but often they are just as worn out. So, be willing to let those outside of your home know that you need, want, and are willing to accept help. Friends, neighbors, coworkers, and church family are all good places to seek help. 2. Keep a list of what others can do to help (And then LET THEM help, see number 1). I frequently recommend that parents keep a list of chores that can be done, and instructions if necessary. This way family members or friends can do simple chores, such as loading and starting the dishwasher or sweeping the kitchen floor and you can check something off your list. As I said before, people are often willing to help, but they don't always know what to do. 3. Use this time to recuperate, not to get more work done When we do have help, it can be tempting to use the spare time to get more done. Unfortunately, that is not restful or recuperative. This is time to do something fun, relaxing, and enjoyable. It can be time alone reading, taking a walk, (or maybe you just need time to go to the bathroom by yourself!). This same principle can apply to those times when you have your child or family member occupied, maybe with a game or napping, or (gasp!) the television. Be careful to use some of those opportunities for yourself. 4. Utilize every possible (safe) respite opportunity Many of the parents we see, have safety and availability concerns regarding having someone watch their child or loved one. These are valid concerns, it is very important to make sure any babysitter, volunteer, caregiver, attendant, or church nursery worker, is prepared to manage any situations which might arise while caring for a person with special needs. It takes time for parents and family members to trust others with their loved one. Once you've taken the time to get to know the people who will be caring for your child, you'll enjoy your break a whole lot more. In Virginia Beach, there are groups such as Autism Buddies, who provide a few hours of respite care a month. Trinity Presbyterian in Norfolk hosts a respite night for children on the Spectrum and their siblings, ages 3-16, to allow parents time to a few hours off. 5. Get involved in a community Your local church or synagogue can be a great way to build a better support network for both you and your family. Finding a church that fits your special needs can be a challenge. We hear from so many families that just getting everyone to a service is difficult. There are many faith communities in Hampton Roads that want to serve you and your family. More and more churches are looking to include everyone, regardless of ability. You can find a list of faith communities who serve individuals with disabilities and their families at the Faith Inclusion Network (FIN) website. If church is not the right fit for your family, get involved somewhere, such as a mother's group, like MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers is open to any parent of a school age child), or a local playgroup. 6. Take your family to sensory-friendly events This is really about finding balance between routine and fun. When your family is able to spend time in the community doing "normal" things, it can help everyone feel more "normal". For example, AMC Lynnhaven in Virginia Beach has at least one sensory friendly movie showing each month. This is usually a Saturday morning matinee and is always popular. The volume is turned down, the lights are kept on, and the previews are shortened or eliminated. This crowd knows and understands disability, so no one is going to get unnerved if your child has a meltdown or flaps his hands. 7. Consider using a tracking device It can be much easier to utilize respite or babysitting opportunities to relax, if you are not concerned about your child's safety if they were to wander off. Of course, make sure you choose responsible individuals to begin with, but things happen. Project Lifesaver provides a tracking service for a very low monthly fee and is able to locate individuals within 30 minutes, if they are contacted right away. The initiative has been life-changing for many of our clients. 8. Encourage independent playtime Work with your child or loved one to have a semi-structured period of independent time each day. It can be easier to start with short periods of time, such as 10 minutes, and work up to 30-45 minutes. It is helpful if this can be at the same time each day and in the same room. Give her one or two activities and explain that she can play by herself for X number of minutes and to come get you if there is an emergency. Make sure that you use this time to relax and rest yourself. 9. Consider Support Groups Many people have heard of attending support groups, but this sounds too much like "therapy". Tidewater Autism Society of America lists many informal events each month on it's meetup.com group. One event that many parents in our office like is the Coffee & Chat meetup. It's informal and supportive. 10. Address your own issues regarding the disability Disability is not something we expect or hope for when we have children. Parents find it difficult to find time and energy to work through the feelings of grief and loss that naturally arise in these types of situations. Once you are able to work through some of these things, you will find yourself more emotionally and physically able to manage the situation at home and provide the best possible care to your child.
Over the past few years, I've noticed a theme with families who have a child with autism. Parents, usually moms, often tell me about their early experiences with friends, grand parents, members of their churches and communities. Over and over again I hear how these parents have been criticized for their parenting skills and choices regarding discipline. In fact, I have yet to meet a parent of a child on the spectrum who has not received this kind of criticism. The most common comment has been something along the lines of: That kid just needs a spanking. Excuse me?! I cannot emphasize enough how discouraging this has been to parents I've worked with, parents I have met in the community and at conferences. I realize that these comments often come from individuals who are ignorant of the fact that the child is on the spectrum, or, probably just as often, is ignorant of spectrum disorders all together. But isn't that the problem? It is so easy to be critical of any parent, especially one whose kid is melting down in the middle of Target. At a conference this weekend, a speaker stated that helping people is not about what YOU believe or what YOU think about their situation. It is about who THEY are and how THEY see and feel about their circumstances. Until we know these things about them and have developed a relationship with them, we have no right to judge or criticize their parenting skills. I have yet to meet a parent with a child who has not truly done everything they could, with the circumstances and resources available. I write to encourage all parents, but especially parents of children on the spectrum, to continue to do everything in your power to educate yourself, advocate for your child, and as much as is reasonable, seek every available resource and service that you can. The key here is "reasonable". Remember that being a caregiver is draining and taxing. Practicing good self-care and utilizing respite care will help. I realize this is easier said than done and we often work with parents to find practical solutions. Check out this post on self-care for parents of kids on the spectrum for more suggestions.
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Nikki Schwartz,
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